Rough Day

I have been overwhelmed by the words of encouragement and love over the last few days.  It has brought up so many emotions that I am emotionally drained I believe today.  Today was hard - I just wanted to curl up in a hole and cry. I canceled my trip I had been planning for the last few months to help save PTO and everything else.  I am going to miss seeing those people that I so enjoyed being around in my last job but especially my TK.  She is awesome if  you haven't had a chance to meet her!

What to do my last healthy weekend before I try to break my body down in order to save it???? When you really think about what I'm about to do to my body, sometimes I wonder is it really worth it all.  You are actually killing your body in order to get better.  I think I'm truly ok with the chemo and radiation - not that I really want it however I can handle that, it's short term.  The part I'm having difficulty with is their "hormonal therapy."  When I think of it, it just breaks this strong, stubborn girl and makes her cry and become weak.  The last thing I want is to be come a fleshy shell of a person with no natural female traits.  The decision to come will bring me a low and I hope I can make a logical decision and not an emotional one. 

I'm still figuring this blog thing out - so bare with me as I play and learn.  Keeping a smile on my face and in my heart.  I got through this once with a smile - I can do it again with the support of great friends and family! Let's get to kickin' some cancer ass!