This is the real life story of a 25 year old fighting the fight of her life with breast cancer and then at 29 finding a recurrence and having to make life changing decisions. This is my story.

You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination. Ralph Marston

I've been known as a strong willed, independent, and stubborn girl and woman. Maybe it all was planned to be that way so that I could succeed in this fight. I learn more about myself each day and what I can handle and what's really important in this world.


Friday, July 13, 2012

Project: Grow a Glowing Extra Head Update

Started radiation on Thursday, July 5.  They gave me a large packet of information to read over with nutritional information, skin care, and possible side effects.  She wanted to know if I'd lost or gained weight recently and if I had problems eating.  If you know me, I love to eat and no crazy weight changes either.  She was like what kind of foods do you eat? Ummmm everything! She just cracked up laughing. 

There is a special deodorant you have to use which is non metallic and has some aloe and other oils to help take care of the skin.  She provided me a stick of this surprisingly decent smelling deodorant and I asked if it was ok to still use my normal deodorant on the other arm. She laughed saying "In all the years of doing this, I've never had anyone ask if they could use this on their radiated arm and their real deodorant on their other arm." I like my deodorant and want to smell at least somewhat normal! LOL I do have to say, the new deodorant doesn't cover like I normally would like... too many reapplies needed to handle the daily laps around the building.

Radiation is what you would think... a metal platform you lay on, it swivels in different areas so that the nurses can position you correctly and consistently each time.  A large square mechanism rotates around you, the distance from your body depending upon the type of radiation being provided.  It is loud, cold, and a humming sound when the radiation is being administered.  It is slightly unnerving to hear the humming sound, which makes me anxious and short of breathe.  It increases my heart beat and laying on my back makes me have to breathe deeper.  However, I'm concerned of breathing too deeper because I might expand my lungs more than I need and causing them to get in the way of the radiation which the doctors have done so much prep to keep from happening.

The nurses are fantastic and make me smile and laugh.  They have a little radio there to play music. I'm only in there maybe 10-15 minutes and they have a big notebook of CDs.  One of the nurses states that they have pretty much all types of music available.  One morning on the way up the mountain, I was listening to Godsmack - amping myself up for the radiation and waking me up a bit.  I go in and try to see if there is an Aux jack with no success.  It is too old and only has an output jack.  The nurse asks, "what were you wanting to listen to" after I had searched through the stack of CDs and turning with a dissatisfied look on my face.  I responded with "well, I was listening to Godsmack on the way, but..." She responded with "yeah, we don't have that, I don't think that would be in much demand with our normal patient base."  We both laughed as I said "yeah I kinda figured that I would the only one liking it."  She I listened to some CCR that day.

So far the only thing I have noticed is that the muscles on my right chest tightened up a bit but I took some Advil and it eased up.  Other than that, it is a long day of driving 30 minutes to the hospital, 45 minutes to work, and 50 minutes home driving a large loop around the area.  I am 7 down from 30 treatments, so 23 left.  One day at a time, I just thankful for the ladies and gentlemen who are helping me treatment this nasty disease and who make me laugh everyday. 

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