Holding Pattern and Blackberries (not the phones!!)

Holding patterns are theme in my life right now.  Still sitting in a holding pattern waiting on the Medical Oncologist to consult with his peers at UNC Chapel Hill on options with hormone therapy and chemotherapy.  I just want to get this thing on the road so that I can be done with it sooner.  I really don't feel like putting my life on hold for this thing again.  I have so many things that are being held right now because I'm waiting to see what the decision is and also trying to get things wrapped up with radiation before other things kick in.  Can't elaborate right now on any of those things but hopefully soon I can.  It just seems that everything that I wanted and goals I had made for myself decided to hit all at the same time.  It is amazing how lucky I am, how my strengths and ethics have made a name for themselves in so many ways and the support that I have from people all over the country.  

I have 2 dreams right now... be cancer free FOREVER this time around and one other thing. I hope I have the opportunity to make them both come true.  I had set a goal a few years ago for something and have worked like a crazy mad woman to meet that goal and I can taste the opportunity.  Once again, holding patterns are my life themes currently. 

My incision looks amazing! It is finally not feeling irritated and swollen after a full day of work.  The DermaFlex is finally starting to peel off and the scar is almost not even noticable.  I can't say thank you enough to my surgeon, he is absolute amazing.  He takes care of me physically and emotionally.  He treats me like a human and an adult which I think sometimes they want to treat me as a child since I am so much younger than their "normal" patients.  I'm not normal in any way of word, so why should I be a normal patient! Ha!! I make them laugh, I joke about my condition, and I think sometimes they think I'm just plain looney.  I am sure they are concerned as others are when they hear me talk about what's happening so non-shilantly that I don't take things seriously and understand the overall impact of the situation.  I hate to tell them - I know! Probably better than they realize but I'd rather laugh about it.  Crying about it only depresses me and I hate being depressed.  I saw my grandfather suffer for years with cancer, I saw it eat away at his body taking a physically strong man and break him down to a frail, delicate man.  But his faith remained strong through it all.  I know the effects of cancer all too well and want to avoid that outcome at all costs. 

Went to get my hair trimmed the other day and told my hair stylist that I was thinking of getting some really light highlights put in however if I paid $80 and then found I had to have chemo causing my hair to fall out 2 weeks to the day after the first treatment.... I might be a little pissed and so would the hubby.  So once again..... holding pattern! Ha!! Wow!! Good googly moogly....

We have several blackberry vines around out fence that are domesticated with no thorns but the sweetest things you have ever put in your mouth.  One of them has grown up making a beautiful little shade area for the dogs to hang out.  They are in the process of producing fruit.  I am sooooo excited to see them this year.  Last year I was pulling 3 cups a week of if not more - there were plenty that feel to their rotten death and plenty that went into Chris' belly before I had a chance to grab them - and this year the thing is even bigger.  So... any blackberry recipes you may have, I am ready and willing to try.  If you are close and would like a bag or so blackberries, let us know. I'm afraid they won't ship very well sorry for those elsewhere.  The picture of the whole bush is only a partial of that one bush.  It is MASSIVE! The other one of the other side of the house isn't quite that big but it still puts a bunch of fruit out.